Recently, I drove to a cycling event near Des Moines, Iowa. I grew up in Kansas City and have relatives in Des Moines, so it was a trip I had made many times. As a young boy, I used to sit in the back seat of the family car and stare out the window as we passed by the cornfields.

As the car travelled along, neatly plowed rows perpendicular to the highway would reveal themselves. It was a mesmerizing site and I can remember gazing at each field as the rows would come quickly into view and disappear just as suddenly as they appeared.

Only if you were positioned in just the right place could you see down the rows. Too far left or too far right and it looked like nothing more than an unorganized plot of land. The rows were there just waiting to be discovered as long as you were willing to adjust your point of view.

This seems to happen in many divorce cases. Whether it’s my client or the other spouse, what’s really important and what will lead to resolution is there all the time just waiting to be discovered. We just have to be able to adjust our point of view so the clients’ interests and concerns may be revealed. Once revealed, once we understand what’s really important, real progress can take place.

Too often – particularly with those who have been in practice many years – divorce lawyers try to make the client’s point of view change to match the lawyer’s. Face it, that’s the way lawyers practiced for decades. But just because that’s how it was done 50 years ago doesn’t mean that’s how we should do it today.

Today’s clients want their lawyer to hear them and to see what’s important to them. And just like rows of the cornfield, if we aren’t willing to adjust our point of view we’ll miss it.